Aidan is home from school again unable to function due to anxiety. Luckily we got him on a federal school disability plan (504) so he is legally protected from district retribution for all the days he misses.

I am really bothered by professional therapists and people telling me how resilient kids are and how these things (i.e. what's been going on in my family) are common and everybody heals and moves on.  That's great when it happens.  But there are children out there who aren't resilient, due to a number of factors.  Some kids are affected so deeply by these kinds of life choices that they never fully come to grips with it or recover from it.  Why people won't acknowledge that in the professional world is beyond me.  I think therapists are trained to support you in whatever goals you have.  Want to fly to the moon on a broomstick?  Great, we'll support you in your efforts (and not tell you that it is impossible and unrealistic). What would really help is hearing (and adults in this situation need to hear it too) that sometimes pain doesn't just go away.  Sometimes your life gets so altered that you are never the same, and you have to reinvent your entire world view.  And that doesn't happen easily, especially for a deeply sensitive 11 year old.